Hot Takes IRL

By: Kevin Shi, Staff Writer

Submission: I’m now reporting all Kellogg guys on Hinge.

By: Things Need to Be Fixed at Some Point.

Let me tell you about someone who weaponized Slack, WhatsApp, and every other messaging app just to talk to me. I was scrolling through Hinge one night when suddenly I got a Super Like from a Kellogg guy. His pick up line: “Hey I saw you’re going to [some Kellogg event], hope to see you there.” I know our invite lists for these events are public, but seeing it on Hinge is just jarring.

At this point, I’m afraid to sign up for things. The #event-social Slack channel no longer feels safe. The next thing I know, he’ll be DMing me from #marketplace trying to sell me his old TV, just to “start a conversation.” He’ll be commenting on my LinkedIn posts. Or skipping a Lunch & Learn he actually wanted to hear to watch me in Gordon’s.

The worst part, I see this person in the Hub almost everyday, and he’s never spoken to me in person. Is it that difficult to talk to someone? Is Slack, Whatsapp, and Hinge somehow a better proxy for just getting my attention? You would think that after all of his “research” that he would feel comfortable or excited enough to approach me.

I’ve had enough of this “multi-channel” approach to dating. So I decided, I will now be blocking all Kellogg guys on Hinge. And I encourage you all to do the same. Together, we will save all of the women and gay men across Chicagoland.

Submission: Change My Mind: Special K! has better dancers than Groupwerk

By: Arm Chair Choreographer

First off, it’s not cool to make fun of people who are enjoying what they do. I applaud anyone who puts themselves out there, puts in the time and effort into their craft and who performs to get better and improve themselves. I love that, and as someone whose body couldn’t keep a beat and is too stiff to bend any parts independently, y’all are awesome.

Special K! 2025 Image by: Tanya Madhani ’26 and Anna Lu ’25

That being said, it’s not often that a group can lose to a bunch of theatre kids in anything that is mildly impressive. I have seen about half of all the Groupwerk performances and all the Special K! iterations during my time at Kellogg, and I must say, where Special K! has you guys beat is cohesion. I understand that this isn’t fair since Special K! has the advantage of months of rehearsals for only a handful of performances, so of course the choreography looks sharper. Sure, you have to sit through kids that blew off your group projects tell mid jokes, but they have decent enough choreography.

I think the difference is that Groupwerk doesn’t mandate that all of their performers show up to their shows. If you are not expected to perform you end up with a variety of preparations. This goes for everything in life—not just dancing. If you’re not expected to hold yourself to a certain standard, you tend to just phone it in (it’s “group work” after all). The seasoned dancers are suddenly forced to make do with jobbers and scabs, who inevitably become the focal points of the show.

Is there a simple solution to this? I don’t think so. I think Groupwerk is destined to encapsulate the true dynamic of all group projects here at Kellogg: some people doing all the work, some people phoning it in, and a few ghosts sprinkled in. But I have a suggestion:

Special K! vs. Groupwerk Dance-Off

Five judges, three rounds, one winner, and absolutely no props or bad jokes sprinkled in.

Groupwerk, do not let the theatre kids win. This isn’t Glee or High School Musical. If they win this, they’ll treat it like the universe confirming they’re the stars of Kellogg. And the rest of us are just extras in their story. So, you know… not all that different from how things already are.

Read More Hot Takes IRL by Kevin Shi: Hot Takes IRL (September) Hot Takes IRL (October)