FOHMO: The Fear of Having Missed Out
By: Ashwini Deshpande
When you're as close to graduating as we are and the sun has finally come out in Evanston, the weather-related small talk gets replaced by one singular question: "how do you feel about graduating soon?" Like every Lauren, Alex, and Meghana, I too have jumped on the bandwagon of asking this question to everyone I encounter at Gies. After compiling the data, I can confidently say that most people are ready to go back to the real world. Evanston and Kellogg will be missed, but the intense FOMO is something people are ready to let go of. An anonymous source said, "I'm ready to get back to having only five friends that I see once a week."
I have my own take though.
I sometimes feel a strong, crippling anxiety thinking about how, for the next couple of years, I'll see all my classmates visiting each other, going to each other's weddings, and whatnot. And I'll be in my New York City apartment watching through a phone screen, feeling for the 1000th time that I did not "make the most" of my time at Kellogg. I should have networked more. Why don't I have 800 best friends who invite me to their destination weddings and girls’ trips?
For many of us, the overwhelming feeling that has stayed with us throughout Kellogg has been FOMO, and now that it's over, we're having FOHMO (fear of having missed out). What if I didn't have enough deep conversations by the lake about the purpose of life to justify the $300k I just spent? If all I have to show for it is a job in consulting, I'm a failure.
The beauty of a college town is that it's a bit like a time capsule. Everyone will move away, but Evanston will remain. Any time we come back here, the only memories we'll have of this place will be as MBA students.
I think there's a major part of the puzzle we're not seeing yet: the place freezes, but the people don't. Once a Kellogg grad, always a Kellogg grad.
Picture this. You walk by a fellow Bucket on campus. You both quietly walk past each other. You run into them at Target. They smile at you, you smile back. You're in Japan six months from now (in case you haven't been already, because FOMO). You randomly walk past them on the street. What!? You both stop, say hello and chat for 10 minutes. You move to New York City. You're taking the elevator down in your building. Guess who!? Your fellow Bucket. You hug, chat, and make plans to catch up on Saturday.
This is called context dependency effect. The phenomenon refers to the idea that memories, emotions, and relationships become stronger or more meaningful when you encounter them again in a different setting, which is why randomly seeing a Kellogg classmate in Tokyo or New York suddenly feels so surreal and emotional. The further you get from Kellogg, the more Kellogg means.
So no, you didn't miss out. In the broader context of the world, you will always be a Kellogg grad. The people you’ve met here, and so many others who’ve walked these halls over the years, get shaken loose into every city in the world.
The two years aren't ending. They're just becoming distributed. Read Parting Notes from the Class of 2026:
