Sex and the Chi-ty: Love in the Time of Time Zones

By: Cathy Campo, Co-Editor-in-Chief

My JV didn’t just survive the news that I would be moving to Tokyo to study abroad for three months; he practically packed my bags himself.

People don’t talk enough about how rare that is: a partner who doesn’t flinch, negotiate, or quietly resent your opportunity. A partner who says, “Go. Do it. I’m proud of you,” and means it. A partner who knows your dreams are not a threat to the relationship but an extension of who they fell in love with in the first place.

One of our many daily FaceTime calls

At the time of publication, we’ve been long-distance for five weeks, our familiar New York-Evanston shuffle replaced with a more dramatic New York-Tokyo time difference, separated by fourteen hours, the Pacific Ocean, and the quiet reassurance that we’re still reaching for each other anyway. In our daily 11pm Tokyo / 9am New York call—our glitchy, ritualistic little portal between worlds—I tell him about my day and he preps for his. Sometimes one of us cancels because life gets messy—flights, fevers, jet lag—but we always return to it. Like clockwork. Like care.

Distance is funny like that. It asks you to be intentional with your love in ways proximity never demands. It reminds you that partnership isn’t measured in shared dinners or synced Netflix queues—it’s measured in effort. In the small, consistent acts that say, “I’m here,” even when you’re physically not.

When I think about how generous he’s been, I get a little overwhelmed. He’s flying out next month to spend a few weeks here, navigating one of the most jet-lag-inducing routes on the planet just to sit across from me in real time. And when I realized a couple weeks ago that I had no class and half a brainwave later decided, “Maybe I’ll just hop to Sri Lanka?”—he still didn’t blink. He encouraged me to go.

Five weeks apart is not nothing. But it’s also not the whole story. The story is in the way he shows up and the way we hold space for each other between the 11pm and the 9am.

Distance hasn’t been the obstacle I was warned about; instead, it’s been proof that we are building something designed to last across continents and careers and whatever adventure comes next.

I couldn’t help but wonder: if love can stretch across fourteen hours and an ocean, was it ever really long-distance… or was it just long-lasting?

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